Countless times, I heard that, I am the one who do this, I am the one who do that even though I am very tired, but I have to do it otherwise, nobody else will take care of that?
My cousin Marilyn complains a lot about doing all the house work; it seems like her husband does not see that or just does not care about it.
Yes some husbands think that women are the ones to take care of the kids whether they are stay at home mom or not. But the fact of being stay at home moms does not mean they are the only person to take care of the kids and do all the house work. Remember it takes two to start a family and have kids; therefore, it takes also two to raise them properly as both mother’s figure and father’s figure are important in a child’s life: together they are complementary.
As I said earlier, cousin Marilyn complains a lot that she is the one who takes care of her daughter Chastity, that her husband is doing little to nothing when it comes to the education of their only child. Since the beginning of the Covid pandemic her partner is the only one person who takes care of the family financially; however, that does not mean that everything should fall on Marylin’s shoulders; which is not fair either for her and for their child. Long before the Covid, she was the one who was taking care almost entirely of everything house work related as well.
Waking Chastity up to get her ready for school and preparing breakfast for everybody is on her; after school Marilyn is also the one who has to make sure that she understands her homework and make sure they are well done too. When her husband is off he does not even bother helping her with her homework.
Although he does not do any homework with her, he will be the first one to ground her if she does not do well at school. I wonder what he is expecting from her if he never helps her with in that sense. In my view, a parent should be there for his or her kids in whenever situation; and all the more so when they are as young as Chastity who does not turn nine yet. How come a dad who lives under the same roof as his child does not to help with her schooling, that definitely does not talk good of him as a dad.
In addition to that, all the house chores fall on Marilyn, she is the one who has to go out for groceries and to run errands for the family, doing the laundry and cooking is also on her; in fact, she has to cook three meals and prepare snack for her daughter. When it comes to cleaning the house her husband will not help either. And if he helps, he will only clean the master bedroom and the master bathroom and that is it. Nothing about cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the living room and the dining room. Nope, when it comes to sort garbage and to take them out, she cannot count on him either. At the end of the day she is frustrated, tired, and unhappy. All that she needs and wants it is for him to be a real dad, a real husband who shares house chores and properly raises their daughter. If she complains about of his lack of involvement in his kid’s education, or about helping her around the house, that will most of the times end up in an argument.
I understand that in some cultures boys are brought up that way, women take care of the house and they are also the ones who have to educate the kids as well. Mothers spoiled male kids and do almost everything for them from cooking to even cleaning their bedroom and doing their laundry.
But if that does not work for your relationship and your wife often complains about it, it is time to make a change in your behavior. In life, sometimes we have to do stuff we do not like, and do not like to do, but that does not mean that we do not to do them at all and let them fall on someone’s else. Have you ever asked yourself if that persons like do them all the time? Plenty of time chores have been done because someone has to do them, otherwise the house will become a big mess; in the same vein, if nobody cooks two or three times a day, the family will have to rely on food restaurant, which can be quite expensive and in the long run will hurt your wallet guys. By the way, any valid reasons why you do not land a hand at home? If so let your wife know about it and together you can find solutions or alternatives to it.
Wake up, your spouse needs some free time, she deserves taking a break, your duty is to help her; stop wearing her down. Even if those tasks are not shared 50% 50%, at least help her from time to time, she will be less frustrated. Besides, the kids need you to help them as well; If your wife and your kids matter to you make an effort.
You women, do not let all the burden fall on you without expressing yourself, share your feelings and also your needs to him, after all you are two in that relationship, and when we commit to each other by tying the knot there is no place for selfishness nor laziness.
Guys it is not good and not fair for you to let you life partner take care of everything in the house including the children’s education and schooling while you are home but relaxing like a king. If you feel like a king, she is your queen; and as if, she deserves, care, love and respect. Be truly part of your family, what you do is not only selfishness, it can also be seen as a lack of care for your family. Is it that way that you want your own children to see you? What happen if your wife wants to go on a strike? Or she goes away on vacation for let say one month? Won’t you take care of the kids, help them with their homework, put the little ones to bed? Prepare breakfast and lunch, give snack for school? Will you feel overwhelmed? Ah you see, this is the same way she feels too! Think about it and be a mature adult!
