The desire of being together all the time is quite intense in the beginning of a relationship, which is perfectly normal. Being deeply in love with each other makes us enjoy our significant other’s company so much that all we want to do, that makes us happy, is to be together for most of the time. As both parties enjoy this symbiotic relationship, it is far from being an issue therefore it persists for a while. Nevertheless, this era is not forever like everything is life.
Actually, as time passes, the mutual infatuation naturally ends up fading and the need to be alone, starts to show the tip of its nose. When it does happen, it should be perceived as the alarm bell ringing that tells is high time to give our spouse a bit of space. If that does not happen to both of you, I am afraid the first one who feels this way already appreciate the situation less and less.
It is true that we, as human being are social cannot see ourselves cut off from the whole world which entails we like being with our peers, chatting, exchanging ideas, and doing lot of activities together. This is the way that we naturally thrive physically and emotionally.
But, on the other hand, being in a relationship must not, however, stop us at all from needing and having” our me time” either. During that private moment we seize the opportunity to do whatever pleases us, such as staying in bed late in the morning, eating cakes or any other desserts, reading a good book or a trendy magazine, going to a movie, visiting friends or family’s members, you name it. As this time is only yours no one knows better than you how to spend it.
After having your own time, it is with joy that you spend time with your spouse; your smile is bigger, you are happier, you are more energetic, and you are above all ready to spent quality time with the rest of the family and take care of it.
To illustrate my points let me tell you about the story of a soap opera artist who after dating another artist got married to him. Everything they did they did it together. They went grocery shopping together, they attended church together, they went to the Movie Theater together.
Through continuously being together their relationship ended up not lasting. The guy felt trapped, and wanted to be free again; according to his statements, he felt like he was in a jail, or was his wife’s hostage where he didn’t have the right to do thing that he normally enjoys without getting criticized. Also anticipating the criticisms already put a great deal of stress on him, as a result, life became more and more complicated. living like that was not an option for him.
Every time we feel not the master of our decisions, to do what we most feel like doing, we will fight to regain our freedom back, as we are born this way there is nothing we can do; it is innate.
Sometimes, when our hobby and activities are not shared , or in case our partner just does not feel taking part in your activity at that specific time negative comments abound. Happiness was what he went for when getting married, but unfortunately was not what he got.
Your time with yourself is the moment to go deep inside of you to have clear answers to some issues or problems, to be creative. Having our own time is good to resource our body. Having the chance to go deep inside of ourselves allow us to think about us, about what we like, about what we do not like, what our goals are, and how can we met them. Well, those moments bring so much clarity to our mind that we are not biased so we can freely take decisions that will matter not only for us as an individual, but also for the household wellness. Some of the activities you do in your alone time you might not have done it if you are accompanied with your spouse.
Resourcing, in turn creates something vital in the relationship:balance. When balanced our mindset, thoughts, and mood positively impact our body. After being resourced we are in a good mood and we can connect again and efficiently with our spouse. Thus we will be less inclined to respond negatively to a comment that we did not like. Or we cannot even perceive it as a negative thing just because we are in such a good mood.
In the beginning of my relationship every time when baby goes playing darts or goes to poker night with a bunch of friends of his, I was not happy and I found it a bi weird, I even ask to myself if this guy was really into me. But, as time goes by and we live under the same roof, i get how much he likes his me time. When hosting poker games, from the bedroom, I hear him and the friends chilling, laughing, cracking jokes, and making fun of one another. I realize that not having moments like them he will miss something, and that can even negatively affect our relationship. Since that realization , I have no problem for him to have those moments; you will not imagine it guys, that it is me sometimes pushing him to get them, life is surprising right! He is having fun like a child.
To conclude, being together it was we search for when in a relationship, or in a marriage that gives us something that was missing in our life to be completely happy. However, being together does not mean together all the time; for the sake of the relationship, I think , it is good to from time to time have moments where we are only with ourselves, we are dating ourselves.
Guys it is healthy for your spouse to have his/her me time as well!
