Disputes, conflicts arise in every household, sometimes you are the one behind it, the instigator, but other times your other half is the person who starts the fight. We all do know it takes two to tango, so the way the fight handled may or may not set the tone for more trouble. Recognizing our own flaws, our faults is not always an easy thing, many times people are just so blind about themselves that in their mind they are right, and it is the other person who is bad, who did something bad to them while , in reality, they are just the one who started everything, and even makes it linger in certain circumstances.
Not long ago I have listened to someone, Mitchell Jean, saying that even when he knows that he is wrong he is not the type of person who will go and make the first steps so that things can calm down in his marriage to allow communication to flow again and harmony to get back in the household. He confessed that he counts on his wife to come to talk to him to resolve marital issues. Some of you guys may say that guy’s ego is definitely big, why doesn’t he just apologizes and then everything will be normal between his sweet heat and him again. Instead of doing that, it allows his ego to linger the situation, while it could have been solved long ago.
Mitchell Jean’s story reminds me of another story, the one of my friend Ann-Zoey. This latter told me one day that now she has matured, communication wise between her husband and her, because things that she was not willing to do two or three years ago, she would definitely do them now for the sake and the growth of her relationship. I asked her to explain herself, and for her to give some examples to illustrate her thoughts. While quickly related something to me; I listened to her with a lot of attention because at that time although I was not in a relationship I was eager to hear what she had to say since I knew that in the future that could be quite useful for me.
According to Ann-Zoey, few years ago if any disputes arose between, Charles, her husband and her and if it happened that the one who was wrong who did a bad thing to the other spouse was her husband not her, then she would not do anything to make ease the reconciliation. In her minds, back then, the one who was wrong was definitely the one to take care of the mess, therefore, it was up to her husband to try to be good friend with her, to talk to her, to apologize, to make amends and the like; that was definitely not her job.
Now with maturity, of course, Ann-Zoey knows that for the sake of their relationship, as well as for the sake of their two children who deserve to grow in a healthy family, she,although not wrong, has to take care of the issue many times.
She went even further, and told me that in the past she used to make things linger longer if her husband did not apologize properly to her when he was wrong.
Guys this is a sort of compromise, in my views, here https://marriageerrorsuccess.com/compromise-in-your-marriage-and-relationship-is-a-good-thing/I explain the role of compromise in relationships and marriage, you compromise for the betterment of your relationship, or of your marriage.
She also related to me that her other half said may times to her Ann Zoey, I would be happy when you would finally understand that although I might be wrong you might be the one to come to talk to me and end the conflicting situation. As a wife, as a mother who wants to have a happy, healthy household where joy, happiness reign to allow not only for her to have her peace of mind, and for the two girls to evolve in a god environment, she is more than willing to do that sacrifice.
After listening to her version, and her husband opinion, I cannot help agree with both of them on the matter. Besides ,I chime in, although many times I do not like doing that as usually think that as it is not about my own household therefore its is not my business; it is up to them to fix issues, relationships, marriages are not rosy all the times, ups and downs are what makes it. When everything is rose, you guys are in love, you are happy and cherish each other, your husband is the best husband in this world and your wife is the best woman that every man wishes to have in their lives. However, when things are not rose it takes a lot of wisdom, maturity, to set ego aside and only see the well-being of the marriage to make things work between the two of you.
There is also one thing that you have to ask yourself, did you get together to be connected? I guess the answer is yes, Did you get together to live well in peace, harmony? Once again, I guess I will get a yes. So why can’t you make that sacrifice to compromise and be the one who reconnects everything. Do not you want to be happy with your other half to be able to enjoy things together again?
There will be a time, yes I know, there will come the moment when you have to tackle the topic with your spouse. Do it when everything is cooled down, then you can first ask why it is so hard for him or her to recognize his/her wrong behavior, his her wrong attitude. Afterwards bring up the apologies topic.
Guys, when disputes occur in your household, and you guys have not solved it yet, because each of you is waiting for the other person to make the first steps, my humble opinion is to put ego on the side, even though you are not the one who neither has started the problem neither has fueled it, it is wise to do everything possible to live in harmony again, after all a relationship should be like that right?
