Have you always had the desire to grow socially speaking and career wise to self-improve yourself? Of course you have always dreamed about it which is totally normal and understandable as our society needs people like that for countries and the world to go forward. Many people including me support that idea.
However, to your surprise your significant other does not support you in that direction because he or she does not believe in it or simply does not share those thoughts. The fact that your other half says no to it maybe totally surprising and also unexpected. What to do in such cases? well you will have to either give up on it or to walk the road till the final destination but alone without his/her support. We all know how it is good to be supported and to get backed up by the life partner.
Giving up on it is quite hard as all the nights passed studying without sleeping and all the stress while taking exams and waiting for the final results were in the end in vain. And saying good bye to that is not quite an easy thing. Therefore you can understand all that can cause troubles in a household.
I remember that on of my university teachers told us that someone who he knows very well had to abandon her career as her husband still refuses to accept the fact that she has to work shifts and overnights. That woman was a pediatrician and she was asked by her husband to stopping working; he was sort of jealous when she was out taking care of her little patients in the hospital and for him it was out of questions that his wife continue in the workforce.
Behind that motive there was no other explanation to the query because in fact no good reasons were out to backup his views and demands , which to our teacher was weird. Forcing someone, mainly your spouse, to quit her job just out of jealousy was pretty weird and above all unacceptable to me and certain of my classmates as well. At the end of the day, she resigned from her very good position at the hospital; as you could imagine that was not done by pleasure but rather it was mainly by resignation because she did not want to destroy her family.
Being a medical doctor and working as such meant a lot to her because it was what she fought for,; it was one of her biggest achievements. Afterwards she was left with the choice of either just to be a stay at home mom or to get a part time during the day not in her field but in a quite different domain .
Some guys behave like that just out of jealousy, others do it by fear. As a matter of fact, many spouses do not wish or and do not want their life partner to get to a very high level in their profession. I can understand that some level of responsibility asked for a greater availability therefore less free time are left for the spouse and the children. That I can easily get it. But when it is just about insecurities, hmm things are definitely different.
Other people think that will generate too much level of independence, as she or he may not feel that he or she is needed anymore. Also the fear that during those meetings and conferences their sweetheart may encounter people navigating in that sphere and as you never know, she or he may think that he or she it is not a good fit anymore; now the people to hang out with and to even maybe be with, I mean intimately, are those coworkers, those colleagues.
That was the case of one of my friends, a nurse who went back to college to become a nurse Practitioner; she had to live in another city to attend the school, which sparked her husband’s anger and frustration. Given my friend’s husband cultural and family background, as in his family women must be the one to take care of the children not husbands and also the fact that the kids and him missed her a lot, what came next did not come as a total surprise for me.
After graduating, she went back to live with her family; everybody thought things would be normal again, but that was not the case. The situation got worse and worse, when she had meetings with colleagues he complained a lot. One day he even went to her workplace and punched one of her colleagues thinking she had an affair with him. According to his says a woman with that level of professional responsibility was not he wanted nor he wished when he got married. Instead what he wanted was a partner with less goals who just spend time with him and the kids. He clearly made her understand that, but what may be he did not know or refused to see was he was not married to that kind of woman. Actually his wife is a woman who see herself in the highest levels in her field and in the society.
Guys beware of people who do not want you to advance in life, as that behavior is not normal nor healthy for your family. When your partner realizes that, he or she may not want to stay in a relationship with you anymore.
My advice will be to work on your insecurities. Because if your other half wants to leave, sooner or latter he or she will do it. Furthermore, annoying people with your insecurities is a good way to put troubles in your relationship and to push your life partner away from you. Let’s your partner unfold his or her wings; that should not constitute an issue within the family.
Guys do not see your partners’ dream of self-improvement as a threat as it is not, instead work together with him or her so that he or she can achieve those goals and in the same time for you guys to strengthen your relationship as both things can go hands in hands.
