You do not know what happens, but you realize that every time that hubby and you, or wifey and you had sex you are the one who took the initiatives. If you remember it well and if you go back a bit further in time, you will notice that situation has been going on for a good while now. In fact, sometimes you cannot even remember the last time your significant other kissed you passionately, caressing you and treating you with utmost care in order to lay down you in the bed so that both of you can sexually enjoy each other.
To illustrate what I am talking about, let me tell you a story of someone that I know pretty well.
Jonathan, who wanted to date me, had a talk with me where he opened up about how when one person in a couple mainly initiates intimacy while the other partner does not has deleterious effects on the relationship. As I know that he was divorced I was a bit curious to know what caused him to be single again, it was then when he told his tale.
After meeting a pretty, nice Japanese, Jonathan fell madly in love with her; everything was so great that he married her and shortly after they moved to Japan. Everything worked quite well between them till he come to the realization that every single time they had adult fun times he was the one who started it. At the end he had enough of that, as he felt that she did not have any desire for him anymore.
I also remember that one of my male friends told me that him he does not make love to his women and if he does not initiate it for a long time that means his desire for her is quite low even nonexistent.
Guys initiating intimacy is important for the dynamic of your marriage; in case that does not happen as often as it should be, the indirect message that your partner may get is that you do not see him/her as a woman/ man anymore. Generally speaking, taking the initiatives in bed says a lot about your desire for your life partner. That means that her/ his body is attractive to you and that make you want to have him/her to enjoy crazy moments together.
Personally, if I am the one to initiate things all he times we make up, or if I am the person who has to get playful to make sex happen more than 70 or 80 percent of the time, and if I do not initiate it nothing happens on the sexual level. I will seriously asked some questions to myself. Oh yes. I will ask what is wrong with me because I am used to turn him on sexually speaking just by looking at him tenderly, and many times I did not have to do nothing for him to approach me and start to be playful.
Some people may even think that some rival is on the corners that is the reason that is happening. Although that may be true, as some individuals when having a lover, I mean a new lover, are really into that person and they have sex with that person quite frequently which can result in either having less desire for the partner with who they are in a committed relationship with, or not having intimacy with him/her at all.
When I was a child, one of our neighbors, Mrs Janet, complained that since a while it seemed that her husband had interest for her went down, she tried to get prettier visiting beauty salons to get nice hairdos and do her nails. She even put on make up, but in vain. Then shortly after, she had suspicions that her husband maybe was seeing another woman. Then she decided to investigate and found out that effectively, her other half was seeing another woman, a woman way younger than Mrs Janet, which made her furious. Suddenly, everything was clear for her, that new woman in her husband’s life was the reason why he barely initiated intimacy with her.
Guys when noticing that like of initiative in bed, plan a talk with your significant other, talk about times when he/she took initiative and how much you like it, how much that made you feel desirable, sexy, and beautiful. And that makes you happy to see that your life partner loves you, and wants to enjoy sex with you. And that it is good for that to continue to happen.
But other times the lack of initiative in bed maybe for other reasons that have nothing to do with infidelity, thereford avoid jumping on false conclusions and accusing your other half of things that she/he does not do or and does not think about. Opening up about that situation is an important step to help find solutions to the issue; this way we will also know his/her version of the problem, and what he or her can do to solve it. And how that your significant other feel about that.
Lot of stress can be the culprit that your bed is not as hot as it used to be. Also depression may reduce sex drive so do not be surprised if your depressed partner is going through that, in this case professional attention should be seek so that he /she get better, and at the same time things get better in bed as well.
Sometimes your partner does not start intimacy not because you do not turn him/her on just because they are ashamed of how they look. For instance, after giving birth a woman may not feel at ease for her husband to see her excess of weight on her back on her belly, and seeing all those stretch marks.
With age, a man may not feel as sexy as before because his body is not as tight as when he was in his twenties or his early thirties; In fact fat accumulation in the lower abdomen is become more and more visible.
Guys when there is a lack of intimate initiatives from your sweet heart, investigate it and talk about it with him/her, because there should be a balance regarding who initiate intimacy, right?
