Life should have been perfect now because one thing that you guys wanted is to have a kid together, and he or she is finally here. Yes, for certain of you, it took a few years to see that dream coming to fruition because you were living a pretty busy lifestyle to build your career as you wanted to make sure that you will be safe financially before welcoming the baby.
So the very moment you see that little piece of pie and hold your little bundle of joy into your arms both of you should feel a bliss, and the baby should make you be closer to each other, your kid birth should reinforce your bond as husband and wife.
However, to your surprise, your partner’s behavior starts to change shortly after the birth. In the beginning you think this can be ok as it is our first child he may not know how to cope with that new feeling; having a child, someone to cherish, to love and to protect can be overwhelming for some people. But days have passed, weeks have go by even months have gone passed and this weird behavior has not disappeared; it is definitely here to stay. We start not to like what we see and feel.
I was listening to a famous woman in a Facebook audio live who explained how her relationship with her partner changed overnight the day she gave birth to their son Christensen. He always wanted to have a kid, particularly a son. Although she was very young at that time, 21 year old while he was 38, the idea of having a child grew in her and she finally accepted to try to have a kid and luckily she became pregnant. They were in heaven.
During the whole pregnancy, she had nothing to complain about him as he was so loving, and so caring; the ideal partner that every woman wish to have. On the day she went into labor he was by herself during the whole process till the delivery. He was the one who first took care of the baby during his first hours and days of life.
After being discharged from the hospital, she really realized what she called his indifference with regards to her. To her it was like she stopped being attractive, she stopped being beautiful although she did not stop taking care of her look, beauty and appearance.
As things did not get better with time, she got enough of it and left him.
Personally I also experience that. After giving birth things have changed, do not believe that I am jealous of my own kid, this is not the case; it is not about jealousy at all. It is a sort of indifference, lack of care.
One of my friend experience that as well. Her husband’s change was a very drastic one, he even told her in many instances that she is not the number one anymore. To me you are not that important anymore, and I am not worried about you living me anymore those were his words. Anytime you can live anymore, as now my child it was what matter the most.
I was shocked to hear that when she related, a good husband, a good partner a gentleman does not say that to his wife. How could you even dare! She is your woman, the woman that for 40 weeks decided to let grow your baby even though she knows she was heading through morning sickness, tiredness, stretch marks, sore breasts, gain weight that is sometimes hard to get rid of.
Also, by talking this way it seems like that your other half has just been used. Used like someone you needed to bear a child for you. And that now you have what you wanted, you do not need her anymore. No person like being used or feeling like that.
I understand that before baby a great deal of attention were on your spouse, and then with the birth of your child this attention has to be divided. By that I mean that now you have two person to cherish, two people to care about. I get that as babies are vulnerable beings they need a bit more of attention than a mature individual.
As a nice husband you have to come with the appropriate words and the appropriate tone to address this issue.
You, who feel that issue, should put it on the table as soon as possible. You have to let him know how belittled you feel by his behavior an attitude, how that make you not only sad but also irritated. You understand that the baby has a huge place in his life, yes you are happy about that as you see he is a good dad for the little pie.
However, your happiness is not totally, not complete, something very important is missing, his love, and his care towards you. There should be room for you as well. His heart should be big enough to host not only the kid you conceived together but you too. When one new love enters in a life that does not mean that another one that was already there should go out, no, and it should never be like that. He as to know that. Let it sink in his head. A man who really cares for you and love you will understand that.yes he will get that as it intent was not to use you to be able to have kids.
Guys we do understand that you may feel submerged of emotions and do not yet know how to handle it, but it is not a reason for a display of lack of interest in your wife. Your bay boy or baby girl means a lot to you perfect! But the person who accepted to hold him or her in her person should be of a lot of importance to you, she deserves a great deal of respect, a lot of attention and care.
Make an effort, I know you can overcome that, put a smile on her face and enjoy life together as a family. This is the way it should be!
