It is true that your significant other with his friends are long-standing true friends, as such they know each other pretty well. In fact, they share a lot together, so it can be expected that they will keep sharing things, which will make their friendship grow even stronger.
Yet, some friends or relatives have not such a good impact on your other half, which in turn affects your relationship, your marriage. It is the time to therefore ask yourself whether that person is a real good friend because if he or she is a good friend why his or her actions, his or her behavior are harming your family life?
I guess you will me tell me they are good friends, they are family therefore backing up your significant other in whatever situation is quite a normal fact, isn’t it?
How do you feel if what you do cause trouble in your friend’s or relative’s relationship? If you happen to know that you are negatively affecting your friend’s relationship, take a moment to think about it.
As your friend or family member loves you, enjoys your company a great deal, he/she may want to keep doing things you used to do together. But remember that he has a family and the priority is his family wife and kids. He has to spend more time with them not the other way around.
It is not because your other half and you are living together or because he or she marries you that your story is forever and ever. Remember that love needs water, a good amount of sun to grow and remain beautiful and not faded and die. It is not what you wish and want isn’t it? So slow it down on that kind of friends or and relatives.
I already said in a post that one of our friends was over at my parents’ place with his wife,at that they were not living together because at that time he resided abroad. And you what happen that day? The same day he comes, a few friends came over, which was sort of okay. But a bit later they went out together and he came back in the middle of the night drunk. His wife was not happy at all of that situation. That was not normal that after months not seeing his daughter and his lovely wife Pauline that he spent the whole evening and some part of the night out chilling with friends and some girls. It is clear that those friends encourage him to be unfaithful to Pauline. In this case Pauline is right not liking those guys and wants them out of their life.
I also remember the story of Cris, a Mexican American singer with his friends. It was said in a TV show that Selena’s brother complained that before it was him and Alicia’s husband in the same car while they and other people were heading to places to play. Now that he is married to Alicia. It is this later that drive her husband to places to perform and not him anymore.
I understand Alicia, yes before he did not have a wife, but once married the couple adopts a routine, the one that is considered healthy for the family, the best one. And it is was that way for Alicia and her Husband. Also this way when they head back home, she made sure that she is sober, and not too tired so that they do not end up in a car accident. Also this can keep her husband from situations where girls go with musicians to hotels after a show which sometimes involved storied of rape. Remember Koby Bryan’s story? He got involved in a sexual assault story after meeting with a girl after a match?
Let us take the story of my friend. She was cheating on her husband and wanted my help to keep in touch with the guy. I remember that she called me by phone and asked me to act as an intermediary, she asked me to send him an email asking for money for her so that she can be able to buy sandals and shoes. I then ask if it was not possible to talk to her husband and ask him some money to buy them, or to just ask him to buy them for you. She did not reply and insisted that I contacted her lover I said, Julia you know what, I know you and I also know your husband so I do not feel comfortable transmitting that message to him.
She got surprised by my answer and only by her voice her disappointment could be felt; I might well be sorry, but I could not do that. I could not be used as an intermediary. That time was not the first time she asked me to contact him for her. And I know her very well, I know that she would kept asking me to do so. So I stopped that once for all. She was mad, upset, but this was not my business.
One of my sister got caught in a similar situation with my cousin Aria. This later was having an affair with a man while being legally married and living under the same roof with her husband. As she was married, it was not easy for her to meet with her lover. So to be able to do that with undue difficulty, Aria asked my sister to lie to her husband inventing that if he asked for Aria my sister should say that they were going to hang out together, which my sister declined immediately. In order not to be involved in that, my sister shut her doors, turn off the lights, and shut her phone down.
My advice is although by loyalty we might be tempted to help our friend or relative to do stuff which can harm their marriage, please do not do that. If you feel bad as you did not get involved in that mess, do not feel bad for as you did the right thing.
Also do not be the one who propose your friend to go out and to do stuff that can affect the relationship in a bad way.
Guys do not be at a bad influence to your friend because it can undermine his/her marital relationship.
