As mentioned in another post, many people when getting married chose to do fifty-50 for everything money related, so fifty fifty for the rent, if they decide to buy a house the deposit is paid this way, and so does the mortgage. When it comes to food the same method applies, regardless of simple matters such as regular weekly grocery or eating in restaurants.
Although that arrangement works for many people, it does not always work guys. Likewise, for other couples this plan lasts only for a certain time period.
During the Covid pandemic a friend of mine, Zoey, vented about her current situation. Let me tell a bit more about it guys. Zoey and Daniel got married eight years ago, everything in their marriage was great and they were living their happy life apart from what we can call couples little disputes which usually get promptly solved without bringing any ill consequences, which is normal.
Each of them has a good job, money matter was not an issue; and was financially independent and contributed to the household expenses and any other expenses by 50-fifty.
They are the type of people who enjoy spending weekends in hotel, going on vacation many times a year, and eating in restaurants quite regularly. For years that did not hurt their wallets, nor emptied their savings account. However, the Covid pandemic had impacted their finances..
Luckily, Zoey’s job did not get affected by the pandemic, but her husband’s fate was different as he got laid down. Given still in the pandemic, getting another job was easy said than done, but Daniel ended finding a new one. Yay happy time. Hmm not totally. It happens that new position, although it was a decent paid job, was only half of what he previously earned.
Despite that, Daniel and his wife continued to have the same way of life, eating in fancy restaurants, for instance. Yes nothing has changed in their lifestyle routine. But, when it comes now to pay for all their expenditures, her wife let him know that he should keep doing the fifty fifty as per their agreement.
Daniel says that if he continues to honor this arrangement, he will not even have money to put gas in the car. Her answer to him was if that does not work for you anymore, you’d better get another job, as I was not going to adjust anything on my side.
Guys, I am going to say it again here. Do you really think that marriage is fifty fifty?
Guys in such cases, things should be dynamic. With true love in your marriage, respect, and empathy, issues like that one should be resolved quite quickly; therefore it should not be a big deal.
First off, unimportant expenses must be curtained; rather than eating out every day or every weekends, they could reduce it to one or two times a month. Also, not eating in a restaurant for a couple of weeks will not weaken nor kill them. In place of visiting fancy restaurants, which are usually expensive, they could eat in more affordable ones; there are a lot of cozy restaurant out there with yummy food.
Secondly, dialogue comes in handy here. Both people have to talk about their current situation. Zoey should know that we are living in unprecedented times, therefore the fact that her other half is not having the same salary should not be an issue; as a matter of fact, many couples do ok with that same income and others live happily with way less money.
I know you are going to say that they are used to a lavish lifestyle, but if you cannot afford it anymore, you are not going to jeopardize your, relation, your life, the roof over your head, right? No that will not make sense.
Of course, Daniel can still continue with the job hunt to get a position within the same pay range as his previous one, but for the time being his significant other should be lucky that he has a decent paycheck.
Instead of pressuring him, Zoey can with tact, help him search for another work in another company; moreover, together, they can brainstorm for side hustles. For example, as they have a basement with a separate entrance in their house, they can start an airbnb type business, if they still want to live as before. That can get them an interesting steady income. There are plenty of other side hustles , they just have to pick the more appealing ones.
According to Daniel, Zoey is mean to him, and her lack of empathy toward him is incredible.
In cases like this, both people are to get more mature; in marriages, there are good times and bad times, and they must together face the downs as so that they can go ahead in life together again.
Together they should find find strategies to bounce back, tactics that suit the two of them. There is no place for materialism, nor for selfishness!
There is nothing into play for her to put that much pressure on him. If for example they had bought a pricey house, and they had to pay the mortgage in order to avoid foreclosure, it would be more understandable for him to get another job, a better paid job. Otherwise there would not any roof over their head. Zoey should definitely give him some room to find something else.
Being super materialistic is not everything in life; lower their cost of life would be a wise move. Remember that when you are in a certain social circle, everything is great till you can live like them. But the day things change for you, they wave you good bye that same day; trust me. You do not belong to them anymore.
Be careful! Live a lifestyle that you really can afford, and not live to please people since at the end it could be detrimental for you. What are you trying to prove? Who do you want to impress? There is nothing wrong to want to live a lavish lifestyle, if this is your dream work for it, but if you cannot afford it, it is also fine. In the end, living a happy life, is even more important.
Guys with that case, you see that in money matter what that work in the beginning does not work all the time, life is dynamic, therefore you guys should revise that 50/50 plan to adopt something else that will fit your current circumstances better.
