Financial agreement is necessary upon moving together or getting married. How to manage money affairs should be tackled sooner than later in my views. Addressing it in the beginning of your relationship or your common law relationship or even before it is a smart move. Trust me; money matter is extremely serious and can even break your relationship. Both of you have your savings and will continue to save money throughout the marriage, also you have expenses to face together as a couple, hence planning everything since the beginning is beneficial .
So now you guys may think why I am even talking about that, Let me tell you why; actually I am addressing it as money is needed in every relationship in order to make your marriage work therefore when poorly addressed it can become a huge source of recurrent conflicts
Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that only money is important to grow together in a relationship, no, but keep in my mind its important role in it. For instance, you both dream about one day to buy your dream house, therefore if you both contribute to it chances are you get it sooner.
As you know it well money matter is not something that is addressed easily. Do not think that only young couples have this issue, old couples confront it as well.
Whether both of you already have your personal bank account, or one of you do not have one yet, which is rare but still possible in these days and age, actually I know few adults who do not have one, the two of you should have an account in order to better manage your finances. After agreeing on saving money, the other big question to raise is what type of bank account you guys should have. Do you guys have only one bank account, or do you guys keep your money in separate account?
What is the best type of account for married couples?
To answer this question let me take some examples
I was not even 14 when my cousin Joyce sort of addressed that topic while being in my sister’s bedroom. Her husband and her had only a joint account since the beginning of their marriage, which occurred 6 years, in which they put money in religiously each month. But, between bursts of laughter, Joyce explained that how she went to the bank and took off around 70% of their money without telling him that just to punish him because of an heated argument. Since back them there was no online banking yet, Cristina,her husband, only knew that the next time he went to deposit some money into the account.
Cristian was not happy at all with that. At seeing the amount of money left in the joint account, he could not believe his eyes. How could his beloved partner do something like that? The money was not only hers but his too; that was not fair at all. If she only took the amount deposited by her through those years, he would have understood, even though it would still not good as they since the beginning agreed to go that route.
But she took the money he deposited as well, which was not good at all. She had no right to do that. Now she would not have his trust anymore or she would have to work hard before trust could be regained. Continuing with her tale, Joyce added he did to me what I previously did to him. But, although vengeance was part of what he did, it did it as well to protect himself so that he did not lose his money, as he never know what if she took the money and never put it back into the bank account.
Afterwards, i learnt that after their next big argument, he did the same thing to her; in other words, Cristian withdrew a lump sum that belonged to them both, fruits of their labours. Through her tale it could be seen that loss of confidence in money related matter attributed to their behavior. And at the end you could see that joint account where all their money was deposited was not the best solution for them.
Let’s take another case.
Back in my university years, my friend Sarai who just got married just a few days ago shared with me about her plans to set up a joint account with her sweetheart where he would have access to her money. Surprised by listening her mentioning that, I asked her whether she was fully conscious of the potential consequences, and if she was sure that was a right move. My comments made her facial expressions changed, i got a reminder that it was about her husband, and if a person should had access to her money it was him and no one else, and as a couple her money was his and his money was hers. The reason I asked her that is because of Joyce’s story was still in my minds; however I understood her point perfectly as relationships and marriages are based on trust.
Continuing in the same lines, let me talk about Robert and Jaylinn, my two friends.
While going for a walk Jaylinn confessed that her husband was the one who deposited her paycheck in their common shared account. And that she did not bother to go to the bank to verify if the total amount of money was in the bank. That showed me how confidence she had in her husband.
Few days after, her husband Robert told me that he is the one who managed all their money, which surprised me a bit and I said wow I did not know if I could do the same with my partner, at that time I was single and was talk in the future when I would got married. Robert would not continue his relationship with Jaylinn if the situation was different, as he invested a lot in her financially speaking; supporting her for years while she was not working and paying university for her so that she has a degree. That was a way of paying him backing.
As both people think the same way, that type of arrangement worked for them pretty well. Also I have to confess to you guys that Jaylinn is not a woman who is what you can call an independent woman.
My cousin Mary and her husband Karl have their finances set up quite differently from the aforementioned cases. Both people keep their own bank account separate and they opened a joint account where they put money for the bills and savings in case of travel, any other leisure or emergency. And guess what, both people are pretty happy with it.
But I know other couples who keep their account separate and pay bills from their own pockets. While it may seem weird it works pretty well for them.
Guys discuss with your sweetheart what type of bank account you both want to have. Remember that what works for your friend or your cousin may not work for you as you are different, and have different personalities, different savings habits, different expenses habits, and do not have the same goals. And do not forget to keep saving money!
