siuy

EST 2017


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It is not uncommon to fall in love with someone of different religious beliefs, yes that happens all the time.

For many is it not a big deal, but for others it turns out to be a huge issue.

Most of the times, in the beginning, not a lot of attention is put on the differences of spirituality, but the focus is only on the mutual passion and love; it is only after the honeymoon phase that problems start to pop up. As you already know guys, infatuation kind of do not let see the reality like you should if you were not that in love. When madly in love, things that obviously are hardship are not regarded as it.

For some couples problems arise when it comes to planning the marriage, because either the bride’s or the groom’s parents want it to be organized within their own religions. Yes some parents will never give their approval so that their kids either get married out of the family spiritual faith, or to bring a woman/man of another religion .

As an example, I was surprised to find out that on YouTube that a vlogger who gets married out of his faith, but a couple of years later faith his parents and leave his wife and his two adorable children. Apparently, being in his parent circle is more important than raising the two kids he fathered.

For others it is at the moment where having kids is on the table that the faith matter becomes a dilemma. Getting married in a different religion was quite a normal fact, but for one of the partner is it out of questions that the children not to be raised practicing his or her faith.

One of my sister has a friend who is a Jehovah witness, who got engaged to a catholic guy. During the whole period of dating and engagement there was no problem with regard to their divergent religious beliefs. He countless dropped her at the Jehovah witness salon several times a week and then picked her up after the religious service has ended.

There was also no problem for her to get married in the catholic faith, as her religion would not married her with someone with different spiritual views. But, soon after their first son was born, he wanted him to get baptized in the catholic faith, but she refused; that led frustration, many disputes, and arguments. He could not understand why she agreed to get a catholic wedding, and does not agree to give their son a catholic christening. At the end of the day, the baby boy did not get a baptism, and his dad stayed frustrated.

I remember that my cousin Thompson when he was still engaged with Sarah, told her to abandon her own faith to embrace his. Although she was not to happy with that, she however compelled.  Her parents grounded her an even warned her that in the future she would regret her poor decision.

When she said that to me, I told to myself why he asked her to do that sacrifice. Why he himself did not renounce his spiritual belief and instead embracing his fiancée’s religious views. How would he feel if she his in-laws or any other person told him to adopt another religion.

Another case is my Ex-roommate Arianna, a catholic girl, who fell in love with her current husband while visiting USA. She is a Mexican Catholic while he is a Muslim from Arabia Saudi.  As then she was living in a common-law relationship with him before getting legally married, she confessed to me how she missed all the preparations around good Friday and Easter in the catholic faith. She reminded with a nostalgic smile how her family and she enjoyed going to the prior Easter.

Another day, while she was in the wedding preparation, she told me that her family in Mexico, disapproves that marriage and mainly the fact that she get converted into Islam, she also added that she was stressed of what they would tell her when she will travel to her country for the wedding. They already say to her mom how can she agreed to such a wedding.

Normally, you should prepare your religious wedding  and the celebration dinner with bliss, and not the other way around. She s not enjoying her preparations as she should because, she knows deep inside that converting to Islam is not what her family and she wanted, but to get accepted by her husband family, and also to marry that guy it was the only way to go. Since, his husband ould not married a non muslin, hence her religion sacrifice

As a child hubby got baptized in my religion, but he does not practice it, on some occasion like Christmas and easter, he might go with us to church. But, in the dating period, I address the religion and spirituality topic, and it was not a problem for him. I was ok for our child to grow up in that faith and to get baptized.

While I have never been in a relationship with someone of an other faith who asked me to get converted to his own religion. If that would happen, I think I would ask why it is me the one who have to make that sacrifice and not him. Likewise, it was what I told to other friends and family members who told me that that their religion is the truth the only one and I should got converted. To me religion is a personal matter, therefore I should not been constrained to do so. How can someone feel entitled to tell me such a thing, I never get it as I respect everyone’s faith.  Human being has the freedom to freely chose and practice their faith, ultimatums are quiet weird here.

Before asking your life partner to abandon his/her spiritual views to embrace yours, ask to yourself how will you take it, if she/he asks you the same thing!

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