Nowadays, we live a very busy lifestyle, where we almost have no time for ourselves, as we are always in a rush in order to keep up with everything we have in our agenda. As a result, it happens that we go to bed not at the same time as our husband\or partner.
In the morning after waking up, and quickly taking a shower, we often get stuck in a traffic jam on our way to work. Generally, that happens to me on a quite regular basis, and I think that most people find themselves in the same situation very frequently.
Over the course of a day, we have so much to do that we end up being short of time. In fact, between heading to work, running errands, preparing food and serving it, not to speak about people who have to finish work at home, by the time we finally go to bed, honey is already sleeping, and we can even hear him snoring. At that point, there is nothing else to do than laying down by his side and sleeping. There was no time to chat, to say good night nor to kiss him good night. If this occurs once in a blue moon, it is perfectly fine; however, when it turns out being recurrent, it can have negative impacts in the household.
When it is time for bed it is important to go to bed together with our husband, or to join him shortly after because it is good for the couple’s harmony. During that time we usually take advantage to talk about any salient points of the day, and or also to converse about other things.
Furthermore, it should be noted that the fact of being in bed together at the same time, creates a level of complicity; it is a time for cuddles, kisses, holding hands, putting your head on your husband’s chest, opening up, and it is also the moment for a good laughing as well. It is also the moment for making love, as not everybody like being awakened for that, or doing it early in the morning as we already thinking about getting ready for work. habitually, during that time both people sleep till the alarm rings; all that possible is jumping out of the bed and get ready for work. We may run the risk for missing intimacy while going to bed at a different time; which is one of the pillars of the relationship. Having together moments like that are crucial to strengthen the marriage bounds.
Although we will never be able to head to bed all the times together, it is healthy not to turn it into a habit; as it can contribute to weaken the relationship.
Sometimes we get late to bed because we have to tidy the place, do the last feed and change diapers. After having my baby I usually went to bed a bit after my husband as I was his primary caregiver; at that time I only had in mind to rest as much as possible before being waked up by baby’s cry because he had a dirty diaper or needed food. A couples of weeks after, I noticed that the way we interacted on a daily basis, as well as our complicity level had changed. Definitely, there was something missing. One day, against all odds, my husband asked me what he did wrong as I did not spend time with him like in the good old days: I was shocked to hear him saying that because I was a million miles away from imagining such a thing as that.
As well, when in a couple one person is a night owl, things may not get well as that person takes advantage of the night to be active. That reminds me of the story of one of my friends whose husband used to go to bed around 2 or 3 am when she was soundly sleeping since 10 pm. As the husband was horny, you could imagine what was going to follow, he eventually woke her up to be intimate; she reacted to it not in a nice way. She was adamant that if he wanted her, that must happen before she fell asleep, otherwise just do not bother to wake her up as she would not be in the mood for that.
Another thing that prevents us from going to bed as normally is work. Consequently we should avoid bringing work as much as possible because of interference with family life. Private, personal life must be separated from work, therefore work is done at the designated place: the workplace, not at home. Without any doubt, work is important as is what allows us to take care financially responsible, to pay our rent or mortgage. But, we should remember to take care of our family always. So take a break from work, I mean at least home.
If cooking keep us up late at night, there are stuff we can do not to tackle that. For instance, choosing meals that are ready in a short time frame such as broccoli and crabs, fishcake with quinoa and avocado as a salad. Another recipe is mashed potato, scallops, and carrot. If afterwards doing the dishes takes a lot of our time, as some people use a lot of utensils and plates when cooking, or taking off all the scrapes before putting dishes in the dishwasher., buying disposable plates is the solution. Besides, another tip is to food prepare food in big amount so that we have left over for many days. All we will need to do is warming it and serve it.
As of doing laundry. We should schedule the time to do laundry; this way, we will have all the time necessary to do it. Once or two days every week is more than sufficient.
If taking care of ourselves become time consuming, I will advise to spread the skincare and hair during the course of the day, or of the week. Therefore care that need more time, as deep cleansings, can be done during the weekend. Thus nighttime care will not take so much time.
My last example of this series is friends. We should talk to them in an opportune moment; late night it is not the right time for that. If they are unhappy with our decision to limit late night chat, and want to unfriend us let them go. They were not good friends. As true friends, they should understand and respect that sound decision. Our family should have priority over them, as such, it comes first, even before best friends.
I will definitely advise that couples spend quality time together very often, especially late night in bed. In fact, as going to sleep together is very important, it is good to try our best to make it happen quite frequently. Enjoying that moment is not only romantic but it is also reassuring to fall asleep in each other’s arms. This way, there will be any doubt, nor we will not think that he or she does not want to spend time with, as in my case, which can cause trouble or escalate an issue.
If after our significant other falls asleep we still feel energetic, it is not forbidden to get out of the bed, but we should make sure that is not a habit and that we do not stay up for too long.
Have a great night!
