Every single person does lie at some point in life. If someone tells me he never lies in his/her life, he is telling lies at that precise moment. Sorry but I have to refute it because lying is something that everybody does in their childhood and adulthood.
Talking about childhood lies, the other day, I was watching a vlog where a toddler who was almost 2 year lied accusing his siblings of getting his hands dirty after the parents ask who put dust in his little hands. It was after the dad prompted him not to forge falsehoods and speak the truth that he admitted doing it himself.
Since he was very young and it what about a white lie everybody laughed it. On the other hand, when in adulthood, you continue to do so, it is when that starts to be a problem.
When you lie people, in the beginning, may believe your tales. Some people lie very well, making themselves believable, oh yes, they are a master in it. I remember that I was watching to a TV show about real life stories. There was a woman who lied so well to her doctor about being a victim of domestic violence. That story ended in tragedy as the doctor murdered the alleged abuser in an attempt to free her from the abusive husband. When during the trial the doctor realized that all that was not but a pile of lies.
Eventually, there will come a time when people start to notice it. Because what often happen, as it is lies and not the truth, the liar frgot what he mentioned in the beginning. Yes the story changes every time he or she tells it. In fact, you do forget but others always remember when the tale change. This is when most of the time we realize that the person lies to us. When you lie.
When it is worse is to prove he is not lying he has the nerve to say that you are the one with memory issue. That type of people are manipulator. That is even worse as they put doubt in your head. That you should watch out that that young you start to suffer from Alzheimer. Personally, that happen to me. Mainly when he did something bad to me, or use bad words. And did not want to apologize. He will tell me that as time has go by that my memory of it Is not fresh.
I have a friend from high school who lies through her teeth. Actually, she lies about everything to everybody including her husband and me. Her late mom used to say Sherlynn you are lying in front of everybody; hoping to make her ashamed. But this strategy did not work since she still lies on a regular basis. At some point we got tired of that constant piles of lies. Even when she is unmasked, she continues to do so.
But why do people lie?
Some do so because telling the truth could take a higher toll on the family. By saying that I am not encouraging nor I am making an excuse for it. Please do not get me wrong guys.
For instance, a husband who cheated on his wife may say no he didn’t, when she asked if he did it. He knows that by telling the truth, his wife will go crazy, yelling, screaming. Consequently, to avoid all that problem, he lies.
People do so for some benefits; for instance, my dad has a friend who dated a Cuban woman. When asked whether he was married or he was seeing someone else, his answer was no to both questions. Guess what happened next guys? Much to her surprise, after getting pregnant with his child, she found that he is married with 3 children.
As he was living in a different country and went to Cuba for business it was not easy for her to know the truth. His excuse for not telling the truth was that he did not want to lose her, because he knows that she is not the kind of women who has an affair with a married man. She felt so deeply hurt, profoundly betrayed.
Other do so just to manipulate their spouse easily
For some it is a pathology, a disease. They cannot stop lying; they cannot resist it therefore they lie all the time even for insignificant things. If you are in a relationship with someone like that, it is tough for you.
When we decide to forgive our spouse for the lies we should try not to drag up the falsehood issue constantly whenever we are mad at him or a problem arises at home. Even when he doesn’t lie he is still being accused of doing so. Such behavior does not help, on the contrary, it only worsen the situation. As a result, we demonstrate our resentment towards him; we have not not forgive him.
For the sake of the relationship, you must move forward. Do not be surprised if he denies lying, this is just a defense mechanism, it is to be expected. We will need to be patient when addressing the situation. In such cases proofs may come handy for him to accept and admit it. As we are hurt by his wrongdoing we have the right to ask him about his motives. Why he feels compelled to hide the truth, why he is not comfortable telling what really occurred. A marriage with lies is no healthy
By the same token, hubby should act honestly and in good faith in order to regain our trust, in other words, which means it is imperative to stop lying. This is how he can only prove us whether he is worthy of our forginess and our trust again.
As a relationship is a matter of two people, both parties should everything do everything to move forward. That can be very hard as trust is one of the pillars of a relationship.
In case of people who suffer from pathological lies. Our support only will not be enough, the help of a counselor will be needed. That person lies so much for everything, little things and much more like I mentioned it above important ones that at the end of the day even when he is saying the truth, we will have doubt. When that lack of trust is well installed within your marriage.
Liars sooner or later we will find out about your lies!
