Hubby is obsessed with work to the extent of taking work home, working late into the night, and sometimes, he also has to finish duties during the weekends. In such a case, it appears that he lives and breathes work; the worst part is by doing so he is, consciously or unconsciously, neglecting kids, wife, parents, and friends.
Killing himself a work, in turn, may kill the marital relationship slowly but surely if he does not become aware of his enormous mistake and take the matter into his hands. No work life balance has definitely the potential to undermine the relationship as it smells like disappointments, arguments, disputes from far away.
We may be very patient and madly in love, but we may run out patience at some point. Even the most devoted wife one day gets tired of all that complex situation, and says good bye. In fact, at a certain time this is the last straw that breaks the camel’s back, which makes us want to give it up and call it quits.
Are we on the edge of separation? I hope not. We will not let it go that far; first, we will do our utmost to save our relationship.
When a man’s work schedule is really out of control, we got hurt and feel like we do not exist, we are not important. We do not received the desired and needed attention and the time together is minimal. As a consequence, we get the felling that we are alone in such a relationship: we feel unloved.
Have you ever experienced a situation where your husband is totally absorbed in his work and only give meager to the family?
Unfortunately such cases are more common than we think.
Late at night Jenna’s bedroom is well lit because her husband is still working, when she complains he turns a deaf ear, and will end up turning the light off only following several reminders from Jenna. This interferes with a refreshed night sleep and consequently, in the morning, She wakes up grumpy. She is also the ones who keeps the household going on as her husband does not have time to help with cleaning, cooking, running errands, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, and taking care of the two kids.
Working that hard almost all the time, makes him so tired that the sleep that he is physically and mentally drained. At a hellish pace, scarce or nonexistent intimacy should be expected; do not be surprised! This aggravates the situation even more.
Wives are not the only ones to complain, kids do so as well. In fact, he has no time to accompany them to any extracurricular activities.
I remember Paul, a famous artist, who destroyed his family’s life because of working himself to death. He left his manager plan overseas representations while knowing they were conflicting with the religious confirmation of his twins daughters; Taralynn, and Evelynn.
When coming back from the international trip, both the religious ceremony and the party were over. All the guests were gone, only the planner team was doing the dishes, taking off all decorations and tidying the party room.
Paul felt miserable, but it was too late; his wife and the twins were extremely mad and did not even want to talk to him.
Moments like that only happen once in someone’s life, and getting accompanied by both parents not only is good but is also very meaningful. The twin sisters could not understand why dad did not attend while he promised to be there. On that special day all their friends were with their mom and dad except for them. Chantal, their mom, felt like a single mom. The worse was to answer all those curious persons who kept asking where is Paul, why is he not here, did something happen to him? That blissful moment turned out being tainted with bitterness.
Although being terribly sorry, what is done is done and cannot be undone anyway. It does not make sense to kill yourself working if at the end the results is a broken family.
Let take a last example
My dad was so busy working that many times he forgot our birthdays; my sister Jasmin is the one who that fell on the most; for some reason dad often forgot to wish her happy birthday. Sometimes we are upset and tell him only that 2 days after that it was our birthday. Father was very apologetic, then would try to organize a belated birthday dinner or bring a gift. All that demonstrated his good will, but belated surprises do not taste the same as on time birthday celebrations. Spontaneity is the best, furthermore knowing that we are on his mind all the time makes us feel loved and precious.
We could not count on dad all the time, but fortunately mom never forgot any important events; and she was also the one who was always there for us in good and bad time, preparing birthday surprises, helping us with homework, and so on. As well, mom was the one to attend parent teacher conferences as dad was too busy.
Why are people workaholic?
That may happen for several reasons.
First off, some men become workaholic because as the breadwinner, they make sure that food is always on the table, and wife and children have everything they need and do not lacking in anything.
Secondly, One job is not enough to bring a decent amount of money home To be able to catch up, certain persons are obliged to hold down 2 or even 3 jobs to make ends meet; this can be very difficult. These days lot of people complain about the high cost of living, and given we live in the time of high technology children want to have all the new toys, which are expensive. At that pace no wonder there is no time for family.
Thirdly, as some wish to get a promotion they are obliged to work overtime to make their manager see their good work and how dedicated they are.
Last but not least, others are just addicted to work plain and simple, this is how they exist.
Worse case scenario, they forget important events and dates, such as wedding anniversaries.
Work is important and I won’t deny that; however, there is a place for everything and everything has its place.
As stated earlier, working our butts off does not mean anything if it results in discontentment, unhappy resentful kids, and divorce. In order to avoid such a turn of events it is good to often talk about the issue without accusing him, eventhough he is at fault. It is not the time for scolding him.
On the contrary, try to invite him to do something that you know he enjoys, and afterwards let him see what he misses when overworking.
The children also can tell him how much they like spending time with him, they are proud of him, he is a fun guy who provides important tips and advice and tell wonderful tales.
Workaholics slowdown, remember to give the first place to your family!
