Although I mainly talk about men who do not want to work, this topic is addressed to woman as well.
As their places of residence are in a two different countries, some husbands and their wives apart till immigration rules permit them to finally cohabit. Generally, when they move together they do so in the country that is the most developed, which is understandable as lot of people want to live well and to be able to enjoy great health care system, good infrastructures and for them or and their children to attend the best schools and colleges in order to have a bright future, a good career.
For the most part, the relationship is quite healthy when both people lived far away from each other, they kept in touch by calling each other, video calling every day, other day or according to the scheduled pre-set schedule; as well a lots of emails got sent and a great number of text messages were exchanged quite often.
Finally when immigrating to live permanently under the same roof with their life partner life is wonderful since they in a good country with the women or men of their life. What more they can ask for?
However the situation in some cases life does not stay rose too long. Let me tell you why.
It is not surprising that at moving he does not have a lot of saving as his country currency is very deflated therefore he or she has to count on his partner to take care of a good part of the bills if it not its entirety.
Furthermore, not speaking the language of the country of adoption complicates matters; for example, someone from Costa Rica that goes living in the USA who does not speak English yet, or a Jamaican who is living in France whose French is quite poor. Therefore it will take a while before having an intermediary level to be able to work or to go back to school.
Working in restaurants, cooking, cleaning dishes, or in stores unpacking boxes etc are good examples of jobs that do not require fluency. For those lazy husbands that kind of jobs are for people with a low level of education; given their high level of education, some of them are lawyers, have a master degree in Psychology, it is out of question to consider those positions. As a result, they stay home while their wives go every day to work to support the family.
Such cases that situation are not something that last couple of months or so; that may continues for years. Let’s illustrate it with the case of Jeremiah.
Jeremiah was living in Ivory coast when he met a compatriot residing in the USA. They got in love and got married. Shortly after, feeling they could not live without each other any longer, Jeremiah moved to the States. Everything was perfect.
In his country of origin, Jeremiah was a rap singer, which was not a good source of income to allow him to help paying the bills while look for a job. For some reasons, that I am not going to explain here, it took him a long time to get his Social security number. During that time unless working under the table, which is of course against the law, he was obliged to stay home every day. When he got his social number and was waiting for the green card, he was advised to apply for a driver license so that he could in the meanwhile work as a taxi driver, as a mover, or an uber driver.
Not happy with those suggestions because of his academic background, those ideas got quickly turned down. According to Jeremiah, as an artist playing instruments and singing were the way to go, or as he also a businessman starting a business was another option for him. But with what money was he going to start that business since all his savings was already spent, and he was not qualified for a bank loan?
Hearing that, his spouse, Carmel, thought that he is not talking seriously that he is just joking. In her mind the reason why her other half talks about starting a business it is because he knows well that he cannot do it; this way he will stay home and continue spending time interacting with people on Facebook, drinking beers with friends and the like.
Carmel is the only one killing herself working while her partner is doing nothing. Not only she is the only person to put food on the table she is also the one who has to pay all the other bills which include the mortgage, the water and electricity bills.
Feeling that she was losing patience, Jeremiah was again asked to find a little job so that he could help paying some bills. Once more that request got rejected, since he used as an excuse that small jobs are the livelihoods of illiterate persons.
It was high time to put an end to that situation lasted around five years and a couple of months; Carmel asked him to move out, which made him furious, bashing her with his circle of friends and acquaintances picturing her as a liar, a very bad wife.
Knowing that not only he bashed her but also badmouthed her mother calling her a B, she gathered all his belongings and threw them in the backyard and firmly asked him to leave the house.
Cases like that are quite common these days. I have either witnessed some, or heard about others. some wives even go to the extreme by streaming, or recording an later put online when they kicked their partners out, which is very humiliating to me. As it does not has to be to that extent.
Guys have more dignity, yes starting a new life in another is not always easy, but please do not let your wife be the sole breadwinner, get a job as fast as possible. I should not matter if it is a little job, keep in mind that as many other people you have to go through it to later find your path and or achieve your dreams. This will not only secure your future but also the one of your relationship.
Guys, after immigrating to live with your partners, do not stay home and not doing anything , get on your feet, and find something to do while working on your recertification, or getting further educated.
