Private matters between husbands and wives should stay private; you have problems with your significant other, what he or she did disappoint you, you do not like it, it makes you uncomfortable, that trigger your anger. to the point to feel the need to vent can cross your minds; this is understandable.
But when you feel that the need to do that arise what happen next? Do you take your phone and call the first person who come to your mind? Do you do that? Do you call your best friend? Do you call your brother and your sister?
After you do that, what are the results? Are them positive? Did venting your domestic issues help? Do those persons solve all your problems, and both your husband and you are happy with the solutions or alternatives?
Many times going to a friend and or a family member with you marital issues do not help at all. On the contrary, it can have the opposite effect and worsen the situation by distancing your from your husband or your wife even more. People you share your domestic issues with tend to criticize your partner and pass you as the victim; even if you are not the victim and you are also at fault. So it is wise to be private with marital problems.
There are plenty reasons why it is advised to keep your problems guys between the two of you. Let’s enumerate some.
First off, I am not sure you want to hear all the bad stuff some of your friends or parents will say about your spouse. They say that because right of the bat they just take a side and as you the one who is their blood, you are the one who they love, your are the friend not your partner. Maybe due to your emotions, your anger those words do not hurt right away But after you reconcile with your spouse remembering them cannot be pleasant.
Secondly, also when you say what occurred between hubby and you to someone, that person who has his own circle of friends, he or she will spill the bean to some of them, even though you asked for privacy, that the matter stay only between the two of you. As we know well guys that few people can really keep things secrets although it was supposed to be kept secret.
One day that person can say what was said to him or her on the seal of secrecy to someone without any evil thoughts; for instance, your hardship can be taken as an example for someone who is going through the same situation and who also knows you.
Thirdly, another reason why you must keep your domestic affair inside of your home is if you do not want a lot of people to know what you and your partner are going through.
Only the two of you can really solve your problems. Actually, your love for each other, along with the fact that the person by your side is the one you chose to spend the rest of your life, are strong motives to make the two of you solve your problems and stay together.
The reason why I am saying that to the two of you is because having external opinions could make your marriage at risk some times.
In fact, for you not to get back with your other half you will hear all kinds of comments like, you will be a shame for the women if you get back to him after all that he did to you. Where is your dignity. Sentences such as do not forgive him, get a divorce, or make her pay for what she did to you are not healthy for any relationship therefore they should not be implemented.
No love is not like that, love is forgiveness, love is compromise, love is sharing, and making the other half happy. If your significant other did something bad then later on reflects on it and sincerely beg your forgiveness, you may give him or her a chance because marriages are not a smooth path, it can get quite bumpy as well. And those people who are pushing you to get a divorce I am quite sure that lot of them would not file for divorce even if they were in your shoes.
Many times couples get separated not because they do not love each other anymore but because, parents poisoned their minds. I remember my cousin Tasha got divorced and my aunty confessed to my mom that she thought that her daughter still loved her husband Chris, but she was against the two people to get together in the future.
Sincerely, knowing what caused their divorce I would not be surprised to see them reuniting their lives again, I will be happy for them and for their son if that occurs. I am pretty sure that if her parents were not pushing her to the divorce, the couple would maybe still be together as they would had forgot each other.
And what that I did not like in that story is my aunt’s husband did worse to her, but my aunty never left him; they stayed married till he passed away, and they were still intimate. So why she advised her daughter to get apart from her husband and she did not apply that to herself?
Guys if you know that you love your partner, that you see him or her by your side in your old days, please make yourselves a favor: sit down together as adults, as grown and mature people do, and together search solutions or alternatives to your problems.
It was the two of you who consent to date each other, it was the two of you who decided to get married, the two of you who decided to buy this house where you live after you saw many ones. So if you both took all those decisions together, why do you have to involve people in your personal matters?
All those decisions, you took them together because you know what you both like, want and love, and also because the two of your are well placed to take such decisions therefore other’s approval was not needed. So why do you think you need people to chime in your lives now?
Guys when having problems with your significant other, sit down together to solve them and avoid putting people in it too often the matter got worse.
