Of course, I love my husband, but when it comes to my in laws can I abound in the same direction? Hmm, let’s me give it more thoughts, hmm, let’s me scratch my chin. You know what, it is better to put it off as it is a quite lengthy reflection.
Interaction with your husband’s/wife’s family is not all smooth for many couples, unfortunately, especially in the case of intrusive behaved ones. Putting their noses where not solicited is only the catalyst for constant troubles. They definitely feel entitled to it.
But who cares about their unwelcome comments, suggestions and advice, I personally do not care.
Without further delay let me give you a few examples.
Hubby and I had a conversation whose topic revolved around housing because we thought about moving to a better house with a nice backyard, where baby will have a playroom and the floor plan will be more child friendly. Then, I had the misfortune to mention that even for a four beds and three baths house we have to pay an astronomical amount when targeting good neighborhoods with highly ranked schools.
Hubby’s father quickly jumped into the conversation to throw his two cents and to tell us to move to the countryside where he currently called home because it would be crazy to pay all that money for a house. Like he did with his family. Apparently, his wish is for us to follow his example. Hmm, it is no way relate to imitate him! One more time, I did not appreciate his comment for a variety of reason; first, his suggestions was unsolicited, secondly, my kids would not be raised in a rural area.
I am not against whoever does that. This is just my opinion as a non countryside woman, therefore in no way I am going to move to any remote town to raise my offspring.
I definitely love big cities where I can find all things necessary. Where I do not need to travel to a bigger city for better healthcare or to attend universities, for instance.
To get back to the point, as relocating to small towns was he did with his family, he thinks that gives him the right to tell me what to do, how to raise my kid, where to move.
Intrusive in-laws instill havoc in a family making it completely unhealthy where both people endlessly argue. All that may end up in conflicts, discontent, and separation, which we want to avoid.
The main problem is that my husband has the tendency to implement his parent’s advice and suggestions. Any previous discussed topic and resolution taken are cancelled after his dad find out. Situations of this sort cause more and more frictions and anger, and as a result, I am nearly always feeling frustrated. The happy days are quite far behind now.
What to do in like circumstances?
You should put a stop to this type of behavior and let them know that as grown adults we are entitled to our decisions and no unwanted piece of advice is tolerated or accepted.
It is essential to tackle the topic because when we decide to live together we become one and form a new family where children are conceived and born. What prevails is the family happiness, unity, and cohesion.
It is not in our intention to demand him/her to burn his bridges with his family, but to kindly inform them that, from now on, you have a family that needs you and your duty is to look after his safety and wellbeing.
Your new family will not make you stop loving and caring for them. Gently make them understand that any wrongdoings will not be accepted.
We cannot ask or force someone too love us, that is natural feeling,, however we can ask for respect. To many of you this appears a bit rough, but this is the only way, sometimes, to make them see the seriousness of the situation for them to stop putting their noses in marital problems. Husband and wife can navigate through their obstacles and issues and find the light at the end of the tunnel. It is up to them to solve their problems not your job.
Any couple who live under a same roof are brought to interact with their spouse’s family; for the fortunate ones everything will be alright. But for others, in-laws do not know that they should not intervene in their children’s marital issues.
Mom and dad your children as grown now, the time for you to prevent them from unhappiness, wipes their tears and defend them from anyhow who may hurt them is so far behind. it is over since a long time. you only have to intervene in case of atrocity like physical domestic violence.
