Often tensions arise in the household when husbands and wives have different views on children’s education and schooling.
Although I was quite young at that time, I do remember as if it was yesterday a dispute between my mom and my dad about one of my siblings’ education. After my sister was done with primary school, the main topic for my parents was what school she should attend next; which ended up starting an argument.
In the same lines, let me tell you guys about a conversation heard between my parents several decades ago.
This time, it was about primary schooling; in the neighborhood there was a public school so close to our house that during breaks you could even hear the pupils playing in the playground. I guess the fact that it was a public school along with its proximity to home made my father want my brother to attend it; mom got so upset and asked him if he was crazy; she disliked that school and never one of her kids will attend it. In her views, her kids should attend the best school in the town regardless of having to spent money on their education and schooling.
It was obvious that my mother and my father did not see eyes to eyes when it comes to our schooling. Luckily for mom and especially for us, at the end of the day dad always let mom have the last word regarding the way we should get educated.
At that time, in her shoes, I think I would have made the same choices because I would always want my children to attend the best schools as education is one of the precious gifts you can give to your kids.
One of my cousins related a dispute she had with her husband about their only kid, their daughter Julissa. She was talking to Julissa and told her that to focus in order to have good grade at school which is important to attend college and or university and get at least a license degree. Hearing their chat, her hubby said neither a license degree nor any higher degree is very important; that later in her life, she could attend a vocational program and he would be fine with it. My cousin told him that her daughter would not be like him, like someone who dropped university.
After immigrating alone to the USA to taste the water, my cousin came back to travel with her husband and their three kids. To her great surprise when the time has finally come for him to move to the states along with the kids, he was adamant that the kids will not get raised in the USA and according to him, it was better for them to get raised in their country of origin instead; which was not what they agreed on.
All that was tough on her as she could not stay too much in her own country for fear of losing her green card. At the same time, she wanted to be present in her children’s life; all the three of them were still quite young and therefore really needed their mom by themselves.
Of course hubby hired a good nanny but nannies are not substitutes to moms, since a mom knows perfectly how she wants the kids to be brought up, and that is not a nanny duty. and I know that like me may of you will agree with her.
Moreover the arguments advanced by her husband were not very convincing, and depending on the way you want your children to get raised, your physical presence in their life, the way you support them in the good and the bad moment are important factors.
During a visit at one of my friends’ house, I witnessed a conjugal dispute between her husband and her that left me very embarrassed although I did not have anything to do with it. My friend Sarah-Lynn and her husband’s discussion started upon receiving complaints about their seven year old daughter’s behavior at school. In the middle of their conflict, Sarah-Lynn’s spouse told her that the only things she should do is to shut up because she was a dumb woman, and the only person capable of taking any wise decisions about their daughter is him not her, because he is been in the education field for more than a decade and he was also working on his doctorate in education.
By only looking at my friends’ face, I saw how ashamed she felt. Her husband treated her like that because apart from her GED she had no degree, and she never showed any interest in having one either.
Guys that is definitely not the way to go with the education and schooling matter.
In that situation what is sound to do is to try to negotiate with your significant other.
Make sure that your kids’ well-being, education background is the priority. Do not get into the trap of fighting with your hubby or your wife to impose your will because of your ego. No that is not healthy for them. Focus on them instead.
Discuss with your other half about the situation with all due respect, since as an individual, he or she comes with his or own background, beliefs, customs, and with a specific mindset, it is normal for you spouse’s opinions to differ from yours.
After your other half’s arguments are laid on the table, first off show their strength then smartly tackle their weaknesses.
Please take the time to listen to all his or her arguments, let your spouse voice his or her thoughts, as here you are not in a race, there is no competition, it is about the kids only.
Afterwards, let your spouse do the same thing for yours as well. If yours are stronger you will have more chance to have your kids raised the way you wish, but if it the other way around, just accept it.
Sentences like what do you know about kids’ schooling, about kids’ education? You better shut your mouth. Oh no, even though you may have an extensive knowledge about the matter, as some people have degrees in education, for pity sake still take the time to listen to your spouse, about what he or she wants for the kids ‘education.
Guys you will not all the time agree with your partners’ views with regards to many things including your children’s education. In order to solve the issue, make sure that you make your kids your priorities, be calm, listen to your partners arguments, and together you will reach what is the best for them, as at the end of the day you want your kids to be successful in life.
