I know he is your husband and as a couple people share a lot of things together, and that makes relationships strong. I get it. But, does that mean you have to tell him everything about you? Some of you will say yes without thinking it twice since it is what you do, and you cannot be with someone who are not willing to do the same. I am not the one who will blame you for that.
I think that telling him the truth, being honest or let him know about some stuff are important for you both. For example, you have to tell your husband you are pregnant, it is your baby but at the same time it is his as well. As this is a serious matter, he has the right to know it; therefore, you have to tell him. But some stuff can be kept private if that will not affect the relationship in a negative way.
Some people perceive it as holding the truth, and in their views doing so is not healthy, it is like lying. I am not completely sure this is a lie. Some facts are not your husband’s business, like some stuff in his life are not your business as well. It is up to him to be forthcoming.
Let me give a little of context by sharing what a coworker told me about her cousin Katherine. The latter was chilling with her husband and all of a sudden he inquired about how many people she dated. She did not saying anything wrong with the question answer. Then he asked another question. Did you get intimate with all those men? Once again she answered yes.
And do you know what happened next? From that day forward, her relationship with her significant other took a different turn; a turn for the worse. He became very distant, and said that she was not a good woman, that a good woman did not go have sex with four different men, plus him what made the count to five men.
Katherine said, no you got it wrong, I did not get intimate with those people at the same time. I did not cheat on any of my ex-boyfriend. I just dated someone, and unfortunately the relationship did not work up, we move out our separate way. Then after a good while she met someone else. This was how it happened. Besides, some of her relationships lasted almost two years. I was not an easy girl who dates the first guy she meets.
Despite all her explanations, Katherine could not change her husband’s mind. To him, she is not a decent woman and a person like that did not deserve to be his wife. Unfortunately, they got separated. To me that was pretty silly, doing all that fuss because your other half dated a few guys way before meeting you and marrying you was unbelievable.
My coworker told me never told your lover, your fiancé, or whatever person you are in a love, intimate relationship with your past sexual life. Just keep it for you. This is the moral of that story.
Also, telling the story of family members may be used against you later. Yes once again I know he is your husband the one you trust, the person you confide in, so it is normal, in your eyes, to feel so well with him that you start telling your family private stories.
Remember that your family intimacy should stay in your family, unless it is something very horrendous that have re or can have repercussion on your relationship with your husband.
You know what every family has a story, your husband also things that he can tell that does not talk good about his relatives.
Before you go telling some of your family private stories think twice. How your family will react if they come to know that your husband knows about it. Will they resent you? Personally, when I say something to someone I do not like when he or she tells it to someone else. If I wanted that person to know, if it is someone that I also know, I would go tell it to him or her myself.
Also are you sure that will only stay with your husband will he not tell it to his dad, his cousin or his best friend. Do you know that every time you tell something to someone that is a high probability that it may not be a secret anymore? Even if it was under the seal of secrecy.
In addition, one thing that I have witness a lot, even in my own household. When you say something to your husband and that latter in a heated moment, during that argument it let it out using it to. That can be so hurtful.
In this context, my friend Shirley confessed to her husband that at some point in her childhood she and her other siblings went through some tough moments because her parents did not have enough money to buy everything they needed.
One day while talking with him the conversation escalated to an argument; she told him to be a man. He misinterpreted her remark, became defensive an said that: I am a man and I provide for my family which your own dad could not do for you, your brother and your young sisters. So now who should be a man? Me, or your dad?
Bringing up something that private, that intimate in a domestic dispute was shocking beyond belief. She deeply regretted having telling him about her childhood hardship because in some ways he just disrespected her parents.
Another reason you may think twice before sharing everything that happens in your life with your husband is the following. Do you know when you keep some stuff for you, you can be more attractive?
There is something that draws attention on you that he will try to know, to unveil. But when everything has been said, what is left? Nothing; therefore do not be surprised if there is a diminution of interest.
Guys you know yourselves and you also know your significant others very well; likewise you are aware of arguments triggers. You are grown enough to choose what to speak about and what not to without being dishonest and ruin your relationship.
Do you think you have to say everything to your significant other? When I say everything I do mean every single thing that occurs in your life, and most thoughts crossing your mind. Everything should not be revealed; keep some mystery as well!
