In some instances, when you argue with your wife or your husband it may happen that some bad words or thoughts are pronounced about some members of your partners’ family. Most of the time it is directed toward your spouses’ close family members such as the mom, the dad, the brothers and sisters although it can also be a cousin, which tends to be less common as cousins do not put their noses in their cousins’ marital issues according to me.
When mad and or in the midst of a heated argument with your other half, it happens that you finally tell what was in your mind for a while about their parents. Sometimes that just slides out of your mouth since you really did not intended to say it, at least not like that; other time you say it loudly out of spite.
Needless to say to you guys how some in-laws can be very toxic; I have talked about it here :https://marriageerrorsuccess.com/how-to-deal-with-toxic-in-laws/. They cannot help to put their noses into your marital life as if you were a kid so they are the one who know everything and the ones to tell you and your spouse what to do, and how to do it. That type of behavior is likely susceptible to cause numerous conflicts in your household. Because of intrusive in laws Many times several husband and their wives spent a whole day or many days without talking to one another. That is not only utterly annoying, but it is also conflict driven.
First off, why do you have to repeat what your significant other stated about your family, do you really have to tell it to them? Not every bit of truth it is fit to be told. On the first place, tell us why do you have to say it to your parents, your brothers, your sisters? Do you think they should know your significant other’ negative thoughts towards them ? Do you think it is something that necessary? Tell me.
When stuff like that happen, two rival clans are automatically created. From now on you put yourself in between two groups of people who you dearly love, who also love, but unfortunately cannot stand each other. Do you think these two groups of people will be able to hangout again together, like before, as if nothing occurred? While one group may decide to forget about everything and move on, the other group may still resent them since certain individuals are very good on holding deep-seated grudges; it only takes one person to fuel the problem and start everything over again.
Couldn’t you just fix the issue with your wife/husband instead of taking it to the rest of your family? When your significant other says something that is truly offensive about your family, I understand that it is at the same time disrespectful or and hurtful to you, because after all it is your family, your blood, and you have a lot of affection and respect for them. Therefore seeing them trashed this way is not pleasant to your eyes; even though sometimes their attitude, the fact that they could not hold their tongue and saying loudly what popped in their minds, and their lack of tact has either created that issue or escalated it.
Do you know you can have a talk with your significant other about how you feel that two group of people that mean a lot for you cannot get along? It will be so important if your spouse and your relatives can make an effort to address the problem and solve it, although I know it can be difficult to let go some stuff. But in the name of their love for you, ask them to try to do that. Do not do that talk one-way only; do it with the other group as well.
In my opinion it is better to talk to each group of people separately rather than to do it together in order to avoid less tensions or further conflicts. You can try getting them together again after your sweetheart and your family promise to do their best to mend the situation, and not verbally abusing each other, which will be a total chaos. You do not want that type of thing at all. Put them together only if you have the certitude that will not fuel the situation or one group thinks that you are in favor of the other one, and vice versa.
Some folks, although their spouse’s family does not did anything bad to be slandered, just do that because of being upset, being mad at their significant other. The fact of being hurt by their life partner, the best way they find to hurt him/her back is to trash his/her familys’name. It does not make sense to hurt him/her back bad saying wrong things and or bad words about your in laws.
My friend, Lynn, when having arguments with her husband Christian, usually says something negative about her partner’s family. Lynn had an argument with her husband because she had suspicions that this latter was being unfaithful. Even after her hubby denied everything, she kept pushing which go Cristian get to the point to say something offensive to her.
At night time after putting her two kids in bed, Lynn laid down beside Cristian to sleep; seeing that his woman came to bed and did not sleep in the kids’ bedroom, he started to caress her and wanted to have sex with her. As Lynn was still mad at him and knowing that he loves his mom dearly, she said a very badmouthed her mother in law, which made Cristian stop all the caresses.
When that was related to me, I was surprised and said; wait a minute did you said that about Christians’mom? Did she did something bad to you lately? Because as far as I know, she is very kind to you, doing all the cooking and taking care of the boys so that you can rest and have some free time. Lynn confessed that her in-law is a good person and that she behaved like that out of anger. How do you think she will react if she happens to know what Lynn said about her? I do not think she will be happy.
Guys think twice before going to your family to report your significant others slander them, as I do not think you want to create more trouble around yourself.
