As you guys know, every relationship, every marriage has its ups and downs. But when having arguments with your significant other, do not do it in the presence of your children, please do not get into the habit of letting them witness that, as it is not without consequences. In fact, children can easily take sides, and or getting traumatized; as well fighting in front of them can fire back to your because it can deteriorate your relationship, your marriage even further.
Do you know that your kids do not have to know of your disagreements between your husband and you? Many times arguments, conflicts are inevitable, I know, I will not say the opposite, of course not, that will be dishonesty from my part. But as adults, you do not have to leave yourselves be carried away by emotion, there is a way to handle that. For the sake of your children and the sake of your marriage address fights the proper way.
In a talk with my mom, the who married my uncle Jean talking with my mom, my aunt Edwin, confessed that many times uncle Jean and her had arguments but they mostly managed for theirs two kids not to be aware of that because according to her it is not only bad for them to be exposed to numerous conflicts, but it is also up for her and her husband to manage it, up to them to know about it as well.
Although I was very young at that time and knew almost nothing about marital conflict management, I said that, in my mind only as it would have been impolite to chime in in adults’conversation and I could have been grounded if I did that, what my aunt saying to my mother seemed to be quite interesting. I even thought that in the future when I would get married, I would do my best to avoid my kids being affected by relationship arguments.
Let us start with an example about the consequences of fighting when kids are around.
In one of the Rush fam’s youtube videos,Tray and Keisha were sort of arguing; in reality it was just a prank but the kids did not know that, their daughter was starting taking the side of her mom, this latter promptly intervened and gently asked her not to take sides. Because their daughter was not aware of it was not a real argument as it was a prank but do you see how their daughter reacted? Imagine it that was for real, what would had happen?
Do you want your kids to take sides, is it what you guys want? Maybe you feel that is quite fine if your kids take your side; deep in your mind you may think that it is a great thing for your daughter or your son to be in your favor. But, what if it was the other way around? Will you still like it? Will you feel good to see that you are not the favorite one, but the one the blame is put on? Will it be fun to see that the kid who was in your belly for nine month, who you take great care of does not team up with you? Is the situation still enjoyable? I do not think so.
Also, I have witnessed people who got traumatized by their parents’ numerous fights during their childhood later in life throwing blames to their parents accusing them of ruining their childhood with their incessant and overt fights, and causing them to deal with a lot of anxiety. Even when they had friends, and or classmates at home visiting or during sleepovers, that nightmare did not stop, which was a shame for them.
Now look at some followups on the relationship.
Some parents at seeing they were not the favorite parent, the one that in their children’ eyes was right, but the one that apparently received the blame may go till resenting that kid, you may say that is a definitely a step too far, but believe me guys; unfortunately I have witnessed that many times. There is a woman that I personally know, the mother of three girls at that time, who one day after yet another argument with her husband Franck in front of the girls; the oldest ones teamed up with her, but the youngest one took her dad’s side. Do you know what that woman did? She made her youngest child skip a meal while this latter was starving, yes she did not serve her dinner while she served it to the two other girls. I got extremely shocked by her reaction.How could she do that to her own blood, a kid who at that time was around seven or eight? She did not realize what she did was bad. She just did not like the fact she was not team up with her. When knowing that, her husband and her had one of their biggest fights.
Other parents reactions is in being jealous of the kids’ favorite parent. Imagine you’re jealous of your husband because your child team up with him, or you are jealous of your wife because she is the one who mostly is right when fights occur between you and your significant other. That situation sometimes cause more trouble in the relationship.
when jealous of your significant other the relationship is not healthy, something is wrong as your other half has become your rival now.
Guys remember that your kids mental health is very important do not traumatized them in letting arguments with your significant other getting sour in front of your kids, it is bad, so damaging for them. The consequences can be lifelong. Also avoiding arguments in front of kids can spare you more resentment , hard feelings, and any further conflicts with your significant other.
