Haven’t you rummaged through your husbands’ wallet, pocket, or haven’t you been tempted to see his phone calls history as well as checking his text messages to see who he talked to and what did they talk about?
Many of you my ladies cannot say that you never did that and you do not even thought about doing so even once during your marriage or and relationships. Although, I talked about women doing that, men do the same as well. one night thinking that I would soundly asleep, my ex grabbed my phone and try to check my text messages and phone calls. So you see guys!
Here the big question is in case you see something that you do not like what are you going to do? How will you handle the situation in case you see something that points you toward infidelity, or something that is the proof of it?
First off, emptying his pockets, and or checking his phone, without his permission of course is a total lack of respect of his privacy. Although not everybody will be bothered by that breach of personal privacy, some do prefer it to be respected.
By accident, I stumbled upon a condom in hubby’s coat pocket when we were dating. Although It did not occur out of curiosity do that, the silence that reigned at that precise moment after I showed him what I found was so deep that you could pretty much hear a pin drop. My sweetheart was the one who broke the silence asking me to say something since n his views it was not normal for me not to say anything. It was clear that both of us were uncomfortable by that situation.
Finally, I asked for some explanations. According to him that condom was in this jacket prior he met with me, and that he, of course, was faithful and did not get the intention of cheating on me. As winter has passed I did not use that jacket for a while therefore he even forgot about the existence of that condom there. Although that could have been a big fat red flag of his cheating on me, his explanation was plausible, and there was nothing really saying the contrary, so the topic was closed there.
A few days ago, I was listening to Kaneesha talking about checking his husband cellphone. After grabbing the cellphone and tried numerous letters and numbers combination in order to check out emails, texts messages and phone calls log, she could not have any access any of them; but later that same day, hubby asked her if she was tried to get access to his mobile.
Why are you accusing me of that? I did not do that replied Kaneesha. Then hubby insisted asking for the second time if she did not try to open the mobile. Once again the response was no and she even played the offended woman, the offended wife.
Then what happened next made her so ashamed. He said ok if you said no it is ok honey but come here. You see in my phone there is an application when if someone try to access the phone and put a wrong code several times it takes a picture of you. So wifey the reason I said that to you it is because it took you photo, afterwards he showed it to her. Kaneesha was so ashamed that she kept silence for a short time, she did not know what to say since she got caught lying.
A couple who was together for about two years, and after a trip the male partner had suspicions of cheating of his significant other with one of their acquaintances. Once he got back home, he took the advantage of the fact that she was sleeping to check out her phone. Unfortunately, he did get the proof of the infidelity. Actually, he found some sentences about how she felt good when they did it together; I mean when she got intimate with the other guy, not her partner.
You may wonder why those messages were not deleted after she read them. Some women like to read them again and again; also as she is the only one who has her phone code she never thought that he could access those messages to read them. That went very far as he lost his calm and abused her physically which cause the end of their relationship.
But ladies, what are you looking for in your husband’s pocket and phone? Do you know that you are invading your partner privacy, do you know that? It is not because he is married to you that you have the right to do so.
Frankly ladies, did your husband do or say something that highly raises suspicious to make you check his phone, or look at it when it rings in hope to see who is calling? If nothing, on his side, occurred to trigger that behavior, something is definitely not ok on your side. Where suspicious, and mistrust exist the relationship is not healthy and therefore the needs for you guys to work on it is imperative.
Sometimes, previous partner’s infidelity leads to snooping, but here it is still a sign that your fears are still alive and that you need to sit down an talk about it to resolve the issue; or you may need therapy to overcome it.
Getting angry, annoyed by the invasion of privacy, is not automatically a sign of guilt; it can be just annoyance triggered by the mistrust. Did he give you any reason for suspicions to fester and for you to doubt him and to end up violating his personal privacy? False accusations are not fun so in absence of evidences that could confirm your doubts or strongly point in their directions, please restrain yourself from poisoning your relationship.
In the past you maybe dated or was married to a cheater, a chronic liar, but every relationship is different, do not carry this in your current marriage.
For those who think there is nothing wrong with invading your other half’s privacy, why don’t you go trough his pockets in his presence and why do you wait for him to be in the shower to check his messages? if you are snooping it is because you did not have the permission to do so; as a consequence, some boundaries should be put in place and they should be respected by both of you.
Stop snooping ladies, instead why don’t you sit down to talk about your fears and insecurities? Because those latter need to be addressed for you to feel better with your other half and really enjoy your relationship.
