In marriages and common law relationships, there are things we should know how to manage in order to have a successful marriage or relationship.
Let’s start with managing conflicts. Although this latter is on top of the list, I do not mean it is the first thing to take care of and the other issues must be addressed later. It is on top of the list for no specific reasons. In my opinion, all those five topics, that I will soon elaborate on, are complementary; in fact, together they can make your marriage, your relationship stronger. I do not know if people realize what they also signup for when taking the decision to unite themselves in marriage and live under the same roof. Do not get me wrong, I do no mean they are signing up for troubles; however, problems would soon be part of it as well.
Loving someone unconditionally and being unconditionally love in return is wonderful. Being in a marriage or in a common law is a very good thing; it is a package that comes with many items: some are good while others are not so good.
Conflicts arise in any marriage and relationship, and sooner or later your husband and you will deal with them. As I have already said it in a previous post, the impact of conflicts in your relationship depends on their frequency, what they are about, what happen during them, your personality and how your partner react to them. When they are recurrent, and when a lot of bad words are pronounced in moments of rage, despair ,and anger any relationship can crumble, hence having the right tools in hands to avoid their escalation and manage them accordingly.
Infidelity is a big topic. Many couples are in that situation; although people can think that the husband is the unfaithful, the cheater can be wife as well. For some people, infidelity is a deal-breaker; I am not saying that you have to accept it. But if that happen in your relationship how will you deal with it? Some people rapidly put an end in that relationship; that it is like Garcelle Beauvais, who divorced her husband after knowing about his extramarital relationship. Tiger Woods’ wife did the same thing as well at knowing that Tiger had a relationship that lasted a while with another woman.
But you are you going to do the same thing, or will you save your marriage, your relationship? Some friends of mine know that their husbands had or still have an affair and decide to keep being in that relationship. I clearly remember one of them who said yes my husband has an extramarital affair and he has even conceived a child while he was with that person. But what can I do about that child ? Nothing, because she is already born, but what I can work on is my relationship with my husband, and by that he has to terminate that affair as it is only how we can stay together.
And although it is tough for them, they decide to continue their relationship but the cheater ultimatum was to stop that affair and to not have that behavior in the future. As they say they can forgive once, may be twice but a third time they are not too sure if that person deserves their forgiveness.
Forgiveness it is paramount. Not everybody can totally forgive since It is quite hard when the person you give credit, you put all your trust in cruelly betray you. Getting over it can be a lengthy process because the wound that has been created can stay open for a very long time, therefore the situation is very painful.
Yes it can take a lot of effort and time to do so. Therefore you are a noble person if you are able to quickly forgive someone who in some ways harm you; here I am mainly talking about emotional, mental harm. Although physical harm can be part of it as violence also exists in some relationships, which is very regrettable as it should never ever happen.
By the way if that occurs in your relationship quickly search professional help as when happened once, it could happen again and again, and getting worse and worse.
But forgiveness is very important in your relationship because it can help to move on and keep the relationship alive. If your life partner sincerely regrets what the wrongdoings, think about it, and when you are ready forgive him/her. Do not say you forgive and the next time you guys have an argument the same matter is put on the table again; sorry but this is not forgiving. If you do not forgive how can you be happy in your relationship?. How can you continue to live with someone and holding grudges? It is not healthy not only for your relationship but also for yourself.
Money is another pillar of any relationship as without it I am not too sure how the relationship is going to survive as you have to support yourself and your partner. How will you do it guys if you both are broke?
No money no love does not always mean that a person is loved only for his/her bank account and assets. Lack of financial means often trigger frustration, anger, etc. When frustrated you are not happy, and when you are not happy the person who is by your side is not happy either. In those circumstances how can you guys appreciate each other save money and achieving your goals? This is the reason you guys should be good with your money. Work to support yourself, do not fall in the trap of leaving on paycheck to paycheck, and do not overuse your credit cards.
Think about your future, save as much money as possible, as you never know later what can happen. Also, it is not because your partner has a good salary that you have to waste money on non important things that you cannot afford like fancy cars, designer bags and shoes. There may come a time where you can afford them, but if now you cannot, it is not a problem since life is also great without them, enjoy it with your sweetheart.
Guys love life is not always a walk in the park, get ready to face whatever coming your ways. Have healthy money spending habits, practice forgiveness, manage your conflicts early and do not let them escalate, and stay away from infidelity although temptations will for sure crossing your ways. By doing so you are putting more chances on your side to have a happy marital life. Always remember that marriage is about managing conflicts, managing money, managing infidelity, and forgiveness among others.
